Ten Signs That You Might Be Obsessed with Your Lawn
Last weekend I found myself standing outside in the pouring rain at 10 o’clock at night while I was trying to spread down some grass seed in hopes of taking advantage of the wet weather in a desperate attempt to give my lawn a jump start for the spring.
Grass!
I realized as I stood out there that maybe, just maybe, I’m going a little too far with trying to get my lawn to be green and thick this year. I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to my lawn, I just want it to be green and thick and lush and nicer than all my immediate neighbors’ lawns. Is that too much to ask?
And while I don’t consider myself to be obsessed with my lawn (even though I was planting grass seed on a rainy weekend evening), I started thinking about what you might do if you were just a tad over excited about growing grass. Here, then is my list of signs that you might be obsessed with your lawn:
1. When no one is looking you try to eat off your lawn…just because you can.
2. You wish say “Good night, sleep tight!” to your lawn every evening and check it through the window each morning before you get your coffee.
3. You time your planting and fertilizing with lunar cycles, sun spot activity and astrological calendars.
4. When you mow your lawn you use a level.
5. For vacation you visit a dozen different golf courses and take hundreds of photos, but you never play because you can’t stand the idea of walking on something so beautiful.
6. You weed your lawn with a magnifying glass and tweezers.
7. Your mower blades are so sharp you’ve accidentally cut atoms in half.
8. You have 12 different cans of green paint in the garage that you use to paint the few blades of grass that aren’t completely uniform in color.
9. You can shoot the head off a dandelion with a .45 Automatic pistol from 100 yards away…and you know this from experience.
10. You’ve seriously considered knocking down your house just so you have a little more room to grow your lawn.
Wishing you all a Happy Spring and Healthy Lawn this year!
[tags]lawn, grass, mower, humor[/tags]
Comment by Lotus
I am laughing so hard, tears are almost coming & my stomach hurts! This is so great- Thanks for this… Yes, I am Obsessed with my lawn- I never had a lawn to take care of before…never knew I would care so much in just 1 year! I think the learning curve, took me for a loop. I’ve now learned from my growing & maintenance big mistakes. But, I certainly agree- you have to cut back and see the big picture. I’m planning to go more organic/natural next season! :-)